Trap Jokes

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the more...

Three men are golfing. There is Jesus, Moses and an old man.They've been pretty evenly matched until they arrive at the 11 hole to find a huge water trap. Moses tees up, and smacks that ball right out into the middle of the trap. Without a second thought he parts the water, hits the ball and gets it on the fairway, one stroke from the green. Then Jesus tees up. He smacks his ball right into the middle of the water trap. Without a second thought he walks out on the water, and hits that ball right onto the green. Finally the old man tees up. He hits the ball into the water trap. A fish swims up from the bottom of the trap with the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, picks up the fish and carries it over the hole, where the fish drops the ball and it plops into the hole. Jesus looks at the old man as Moses pencils another 1 in the old man's card. "Alright Dad, stop showing off"!

Question: What is red, full of seeds and looks like half of a tomato?

Answer: Other half of the tomato.

This guy was out playing his weekly round of golf when he hit
a shot into the trap off the 11th green. So he pulls out his sand wedge
and takes a swing at the ball only to hit something metallic underneath.
Being curious, he digs away the sand only to find what looks like Aladin's
Lamp. It's kind of dirty, so he takes out his golf towel to clean it off.
All of a sudden... POOF!... a genie apears from the lamp and says,
"Sir, you have freed me from the lamp! For this I will grant you 3 wishes!"
The man thinks for a moment and says, "You know, I have everything I could
possibly want. Give the wishes to someone else." He quickly putts out and
leaves for the 12th tee.
The genie is flabergasted. "To think that someone in this world could feel
so fulfilled that he could pass up not just 1 but 3 wishes! I know what
I'll do. To reward him, I'll grant him 3 things without him knowing. Now
lets see. What does every man more...

Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped it up onto the green.

The third guy gets up and sort of randomly whacks the ball. It heads out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounces off a truck and hits a nearby tree. From there it bounces onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolls down into the gutter, down the downspout, out onto The fairway and right toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, it hits a little stone and bounces out over the water and onto a lily pad where it more...