Nerd Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What's the definition of a nerd? A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.
Why did the nerd eat the fifth grader's math test??
Because it was a peace of cake!!
BETTER TO BE A JOCK OR A NERD?
To help you in formulating your answer, the following should be considered:
Michael Jordan will make more than $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game. Assuming he also makes $40 million in endorsements next year, he will be making $178,000 a day, working or not.
If he goes to see a movie, it will cost him $8.00 (without popcorn and drink), but will make $18,500 while he is there.
If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he will make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415 per hour more than minimum wage, even after the wage hike.
He will make $3,710 while watching each episode of "FRIENDS". If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX (cost $90,000), it will take him a whole 12 hours to earn the money.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at a rate of 2 dollars every second. He will probobly pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, more...
Top Ten Ways A Computer Nerd Can Impress His Date10. Flash the big wads of tens and twenties you created with your color laser printer and top-notch graphics program. 9. Spend an evening playing floppy disks backward, listening for the secret messages about Satan. 8. Invite her back to your place to show her the etchings on your Newton MessagePad. 7. Let the lady go first when you reach the virtual reality escalator. 6. Serenade her with your MIDI-compatible drum pads. 5. Have your dinner illuminated by the soft glow of an active-matrix LCD panel. 4. If you're getting serious, consider a set of "his' n' her" system unit keys. 3. Drive her crazy by murmuring tender love words with the help of a French-speaking voice synthesizer. 2. Never type on your date's laptop computer without permission, particularly if the system is on her lap. 1. When things get tough, simply ask yourself, "What would Bill Gates do in a situation like this?
Trucker hauling computers and accessories is driving down the highway late one night when he sees a truck stop on the side of the road. So he decides to pull over. On aproaching the door he read s a sign: "NO NERDS." He shrugs it off and enters. He`s greeted by the end of a shotgun barrel in his face. "Are you a nerd?" the bartender asks.
"No, I`m a truck driver," he replies. He`s allowed to come in, so he orders a cup of coffee, sits at the bar and drinks it.
While he drinks his coffee, a man walks in wearing his pants up to his chest, a plaid shirt, pocket protector and thick-framed glass. The bartender pulls out his shotgun and blows him away.
"What the hell did you do that for!?" asks the trucker.
"Well," the bartender answers, "it`s nerd season."
"Nerd season?" asks the trucker, confused.
"Yeah. See, the nerd population in this town is more...
The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd"?
Michael Jordan made over $300, 000 a game. That equals $10, 000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game.
With $40 million in endorsements, he made $178, 100 a day, working or not.
If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52, 000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $9. 50, but he'll make $18, 550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7, 415/hr more than minimum wage.
He'd make $3, 710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura SLX (about $90, 000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2. 00 every second.
He'd probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed around more...