Nest Jokes / Recent Jokes

Theres an old man laying on the beach nakedand a little girl was pasing buy she stops and stairs at the man and asked mister what is that.the man says what the little girl says that between your legs the man says oh that well the thing that is standing is the bird the two things on the side are the eggs and the thing aroundit is the nest ok the old man asked her to leave so he can get some sun he falls asleep when he wakes up there are peramedics around himhe asked what happen the peramedic said ask the little girl the old man calls her over what happen the little girl said when you wentto sleep I tryed to make the bird fly I pulled and pulled but he got big and spit at me so I kicked the bird smashed the eggs and burnd the nest.

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Dont worry, son. Your mother will come back. Shes only bringing people babies and making them happy."The next night, its fathers turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now hes bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."A few days later, the storks parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where hes been all night. The baby stork says, "No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

A blonde named Barbara is appearing on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever Million dollars if you get it right. .. but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go"

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it........
A - Robin, B - Sparrow, C - Cuckoo, D - Thrush.
"Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars.

Barbara: " I think I know who it........ but I'm not 100%....No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis just to be sure.

Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Carol back home in Brooklyn."

(ringing)

Carol (also a blonde): more...

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

Two storks are sitting in their nest - a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying so the father stork is trying to calm him.
"Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."
The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, and the baby stork is crying again. The mother says,
"Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."
A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate because their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.
The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby
stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him, "Don't worry,
son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making
them happy."
The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in
the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will
be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and
daddies."
A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from
the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him
where he's been all night.
The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

One day a man was sleeping and the neighbor's little girl entered his house, woke him up and said, "What is that between your legs?" He replied that is "my bird." He went back to sleep. She came back later and said, "What's that furry stuff around your bird?" He replied that's "my nest." So he went back to sleep. She came back later. "What's those two things under it?" He said those are "the eggs." She said, "Okay, can I play with your bird,and he said "ok." When he woke up later, he noticed that he was in the hospital. He saw the little girl and asked, "what happened?" She said, "When I was playing with your bird he spit in my eye so I chopped off his head, burnt down his nest and busted his eggs!"