Nest Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a man was sleeping and the neighbors little girl entered his house, woke him up and said, "What is that between your legs?" He replied that is "my bird." He went back to sleep. She came back later and said, "Whats that furry stuff around your bird?" He replied thats "my nest." So he went back to sleep. She came back later. "Whats those two things under it?" He said those are "the eggs." She said, "Okay, can I play with your bird, and he said "ok." When he woke up later, he noticed that he was in the hospital. He saw the little girl and asked, "what happened?" She said, "When I was playing with your bird he spit in my eye so I chopped off his head, burnt down his nest and busted his eggs!"

There were three city mice sitting at a bar. The first mouse takes ashot of tequilla, slams the glass on the table and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk throughout the house collecting mouse poison, return to my nest and grind up the pellets with my morning coffee -- just for an extra jolt to start off each day." The mice look at each other. The second mouse slams his whiskey --throws his glass on the floor and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I go up to the trap outside my nest, I trip the lever and make the trap flip in the air, I catch the bar on its way down, bench press it a few times, twirl it over and over with my feet -- then I toss it to the floor, and take the cheese for breakfast. It's all part of my morning routine." The third mouse looks at the other two. Bored with the conversation, he sets down his glass of beer and says..."I've had enough of you two. I'm going to go home and screw more...

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night. The baby stork says, "No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

For the first time, a young moth leaves the nest and his mother warns him about people. After he gets back, he tells his mother, "You've exaggerated about people. They aren't so bad. The moment they saw me, they started to clap their hands."

Three tough city mice are sitting in a bar having a drink.
The first mouse takes a shot of tequila, slams the glass on the bar and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk around the house collecting mouse poison. Then I return to my nest and grind up the pellets with my morning coffee - just for an extra jolt to start off each day."
The second mouse gulps his scotch down, throws the glass on the floor and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I go up to the trap outside my nest, trip the lever and make the trap flip in the air. Then I catch the bar on its way down, bench press it a few times, twirl it over and over with my feet, toss it to the ground and take the cheese for my breakfast. This is all part of my normal morning routine."
The third mouse, bored with the conversation, looks at the other two mice, sets his glass of beer down and says, "I've had enough of you two. I'm going home to more...

Two storks are sitting in their nest - a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying so the father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, and the baby stork is crying again. The mother says, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate because their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night. The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying andcrying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry Son, yourmother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, its fathers turn to do the job." Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringingjoy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork parents are desperate, their son is gone fromthe nest all night. Finally, shortly before dawn, he returns and theparents ask their son where he had been all night. Says the baby stork, "Awww, just scaring the shit out of college kids!"