Norwegian Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ole and Lena were so excited to get a new cellular phone. Ole was to call when he was on his way home from town. Ole called Lena when he entered the freeway. "Lena put supper on, I'm on my way home." Lena says, "Be careful because I hear some nut is driving the wrong way on the freeway." "It's worse than that Lena, where I'm at there are a hundred cars going the wrong way!"

Lena once had two chickens. One of them got terribly sick. So she killed the other one to make soup to get the first one well again.

Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and said, "Are you a pole vaulter?" Ole said, "No, I'm Norvegian...and my name isn't Valter."

A swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. Soon a norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the load stuck against the ceiling. The norwegian suggested that the swede let the air out of the tires. The swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! The truck is stuck up on top."

A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.
"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"
"Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.
The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?"
"It was ME," chortled the Indian.
So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.
Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into the bar and spotted one of his cronies.
"Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, you have to buy me vun. Fair enough?"
"Fair enough," said Sven.
"Ok," the more...

"Hey Sven, how many Swedes does it take to grease a combine?" "I don`t know, Ole." "Only two, if you run them through real slow."

This joke could be offensive to Norwegians, but I can assure you it's not.
Any Norwegian reader would just tell an even better joke about a Swede instead.
Read in a book about the Joke-war between Norway and Sweden.
It's mid December some year, and Norway has had a new ambassador in the USA
for about a month. He is, as a matter of fact not only new as ambassador
to the USA, he is a novice ambassador of any sort.
He is just about getting familiar with his
work, but he's not always sure about what to do. Suddenly the phone rings..
- Yees... he says, a bit confused. (His phone hardly ever rings.)
- Good morning Mr Ambassador. This is Mike Giordano from the New York Times.
I'd like to know what you want for a Christmas present.
- Eh, Sveind (Yes, that's his name) said. Christmas present... Eh...
I'm very sory Mike, I can't accept any gifts, but tanks anyway.
- Yes, of course... I understand, said Mike with a voice telling a deaf more...