Novice Jokes / Recent Jokes

Computer users are divided into three types: Novice, Intermediate and Expert. Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate Users - People who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it. Expert Users - People who press the keys that break other people's computers

Chow TimeOne of my husband`s duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, "There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!"Checking to see that he had everyone`s attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?" Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"

Computer users are divided into three types:
Novice, Intermediate and Expert.
Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate Users - People who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert Users - People who press the keys that break other people’s computers.

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.

Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing and then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.

"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.

The pro just stood there and stared at the novice. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said after he was able to speak again.

"Oh great! NOW you tell me," said the beginner in a disgusted tone.

NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands? SAGE: Clever men dont BECOME husbands!