Nozzle Jokes

Rocket Engineer John Wickman has just received a $730,000 grant to develop a new type of rocket motor. Shocked by the reporters’ dumbfounded reaction to the term ‘pintle nozzle,’ a frustrated Wickman exclaimed “c’mon, man, it’s not rocket science! Oh wait, yes it is,” then proceeded to describe the directional control it provides.
Married women across the US who are tired of cleaning pee out of hard-to-reach toilet crevices are awaiting a scaled-down residential application.
Secretary of State Rumsfeld has given the project a high priority rating. This new nozzle will give us more accurate missiles, which we need because despite the gigantic glasses, Kim Jong Il is still a very small target.

1. Insert bulb and use as flashlight.
2. Fill with ink and use as bingo dabber.
3. Fill with Frosting and squeeze to decorate cake.
4. Use it as a decoration to hang from your rearview mirror.
5. Hang a dried out one inside an upside-down clay pot for an interesting bell. Gives new meaning to the phrase “ding dong. ”
6. Nail it to the wall and use it for a coat rack.
7. In a pinch, poke extra holes in the end and replace shower nozzle.
8. Conversation piece on the coffee table (”Oh, that’s just Ronald when he was in his prime…”).
9. Redneck girl’s toothpick holder.
10. Dip it in candied apple glaze and make an all day sucker out of it.
11. Fill with Vicks and use as a nose inhaler.
12. Fill it up with plaster of Paris and use it as a microphone while singing the Lorena Bobbitt song.
13. Stick a Mickey mouse head on the tip, slit the dick horizontally, insert a spring in the bottom, and use as a Pez more...