Nurses Jokes / Recent Jokes

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to fall over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home.' 'So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?'' They ask.

''It's pretty nice,'' she replies.' 'Except they won't let you fart''

A hospital patient, recovering from minor surgery, was being given an alcohol rubdown by two of the hospital's more attractive nurses. While manipulating the man's body they noted that the word "tiny" was tattooed on the head of his penis. Some months after the man's discharge, Mary, one of the nurses, tod Joan, the other, that she had dated their former patient." How could you go out with a man that had' tiny' tattooed on his love stick?" exclaimed Joan." How could I indeed!" said Mary. "It said' tiny' when it was soft, but when aroused, it spelled:'Tiny's Delicatessen & Catering Service. We deliver at all times, twenty-four hours a day!!!'"

A bigshot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She walked into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."
After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."
This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"
She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After more...

A hospital patient, recovering from minor surgery, was being given an alcohol rubdown by two of the hospital's more attractive nurses.
While manipulating the man's body they noted that the word "tiny" was tattooed on the head of his penis.
Some months after the man's discharge, Mary, one of the nurses, tod Joan, the other, that she had dated their former patient.
"How could you go out with a man that had 'tiny' tattooed on his love stick?" exclaimed Joan.
"How could I indeed!" said Mary. "It said 'tiny' when it was soft, but when aroused, it spelled:
'Tiny's Delicatessen & Catering Service. We deliver at all times, twenty-four hours a day!!!'"

A hospital patient, recovering from minor surgery, was being given an alcohol rubdown by two of the hospital's more attractive nurses.While manipulating the man's body they noted that the word "tiny" was tattooed on the head of his penis.Some months after the man's discharge, Mary, one of the nurses, tod Joan, the other, that she had dated their former patient."How could you go out with a man that had 'tiny' tattooed on his love stick?" exclaimed Joan."How could I indeed!" said Mary. "It said 'tiny' when it was soft, but when aroused, it spelled:'Tiny's Delicatessen & Catering Service. We deliver at all times, twenty-four hours a day!!!'"

It has come to prove that male who are admitted in hospitals heal fast because the famale nurses wear short dress and the sick male eye are always rolling to see the female nurses thighs and bottoms evenif the sick male folks have broken necks.

Three nurses died and went to Heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter, who questioned them."What did you used to do back on Earth?" he asked the first nurse. "Why do you think you should be allowed into Heaven?"She told him, "I was a nurse at an inner city hospital. I worked to bring healing and peace to many sufferers, especially poor children.""Very noble. You may enter." And he ushered her through the gates. He asked the same questions to the next nurse."I was a missionary nurse in the Amazon. For many years I worked with a small group of doctors and nurses to help people in numerous tribes, healing them and telling them of God's love." The second nurse replied."Excellent!" said St. Peter. And he ushered her through the gates as well. Finally he posed his questions to the third nurse.
She hesitated, then explained, "I was just a nurse at an HMO."St. Peter considered her answer for a moment, more...