Obituary Jokes

A man rings his local newspaper so he can place an obituary for his recently deceased wife.
He only has

A man rings his local newspaper so he can place an obituary for his recently deceased wife.
He only has

A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word.
She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died'."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries."
Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1983 Pick-up for sale.'"

The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.
"How much does it cost to have an obituary printed"? asked a woman.
"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely.
"Fine," said the woman after a moment. "Got a pencil?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Got some paper?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Okay, write this down:' Cohen dead'."

"That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly.
"That's it."
"I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum."
"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Got some paper?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Okay, here goes:' Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale."

Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her husband`s obituary. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word and he remembered Pete and wasn`t it too bad about him passing away. She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary, "Pete died." The newsman said he thought old Pete deserved more and he`d give her three more words at no charge. Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and rewrote the obituary: "Pete died. Boat for sale"