Margaret Jokes

Margaret Thatcher dies and strolls up the pearly staircase to the pearly gates,
where she is confronted by St. Peter, brandishing a clipboard. "Name," says St.
Peter.
"Margaret Thatcher," she replies.
St. Peter checks through all the lists on his clipboard but cannot find the name
of the former British leader. "I am sorry," he says, "you cannot come in. Your
place is downstairs, in Hell. Mrs. Thatcher turns and walks down the stairs.
A short time later the phone rings. St. Peter answers, and a voice says, "Hello
Peter, it is the Devil speaking. You will have to take that bloody woman after
all - she is only been here for ten minutes and she has closed half the furnaces
to reduce capacity."

What`s the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie? One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors

A bunch of nones are teamed together to paint the interior of their new church..while painting, the lead nun sister margaret announces that she wants everyone to be especially careful not to get paint on their new nun robes...so when sister margaret leaves...sister Erin turns to the rest of the nuns and suggests that since they are all girls, they paint nude..so as to not get any paint on their new nun attire.. the nuns agree and so they continue painting in the nude... after an hour they hear the door bell ring..
"who is it?" sister Erin asks...
"A blind man!" the man responds..
with a bit of relief, sister Erin lets the man in..
the man stops stunned at the door way...
"where do you want these drapes?" he asks..
"and do you always paint in the nude?"

Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train.

The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Thatcher and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Thatcher is thinking: “These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him”

Madhuri is thinking: “Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped. ”

Musharraf is thinking: “Damn! it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped! me. ”

Vajpayee is thinking: “If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and more...

A man rings his local newspaper so he can place an obituary for his recently deceased wife.
He only has