Object Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blond woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, "What is that?"
The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."
The blond then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." So she buys one.
The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blond, asks, "What is that shiny object?"
She replies "It's a thermos."
He asks, "What does it do?"
She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
He then asks, "What do you have in there?"
"Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for more...

A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel has died of thirst. Hes crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an ash tray from an old car. He opens it and out pops a genie.... But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing a polka dot bow tie and a plaid sport coat. Theres a dog-eared little book in the breast pocket with a blue cover. He has a pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes." "Im not falling for this." says the man. "Im not going to trust a used car salesman!" "What do you have to lose? Youve got no transportation, and it looks like youre a goner anyway! " The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right. more...

A blond woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, "What is that?" The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos." The blond then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." So she buys one. The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blond, asks, "What is that shiny object?" She replies "It's a thermos." He asks, "What does it do?" She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." He then asks, "What do you have in there?" "Two cups of coffee and a scoop of ice cream."

A blond woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, "What is that?"
The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."
The blond then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." So she buys one.
The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blond, asks, "What is that shiny object?"
She replies "It's a thermos."
He asks, "What does it do?"
She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
He then asks, "What do you have in there?"
"Two cups of coffee and an ice cream."

>> Rules for Playing Bedroom Golf
>>
>> 1. The player will furnish his own equipment for play, normally one
>> club, and two balls.
>>
>> 2. Owner of the course must approve equipment before play may begin.
>>
>> 3. Unlike regular golf, the object of the game is to get the club
into
>> the hole, while keeping the balls out.
>>
>> 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. The
>> course owner may check the stiffness of the shaft before allowing
play
>> to commence.
>>
>> 5. Course owner reserves the right to restrict the shaft length, so
as
>> to avoid damage to the course.
>>
>> 6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as possible,
>> until the course owner is satisfied.
>>
>> 7. Players are cautioned to play the correct hole, as indicated by
the
>> course owner.
>>
>> 8. It is considered bad form to begin playing the more...

One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object. "What is that?" Mikey asked. "It's a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. "What is it?" they asked. "It's a thermos," Mikey replied. "What does it do?" they asked. "Well," Mikey says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." "What do ya got in it?" To which Mikey says, "Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."