Occasions Jokes / Recent Jokes

When you sneeze, air and particles travel through the nostrils at speeds over100 mph. During this time, all bodily functions stop, including your heart, contributing to the impossibility of keeping one's eyes open during a sneeze.

Annual growth of WWW traffic is 314,000%

%60 of all people using the Internet, use it for pornography.

In 1778, fashionable women of Paris never went out in blustery weather without a lightning rod attached to their hats.

Sex burns 360 calories per hour.

A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.

Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it.

The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words. More than 2 billion pencils are manufactured each year in the United States. If these were laid end to end more...

This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me because I wasn't quite four
years old when it happened. My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old
(her first mistake).
One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet door was ajar. I read
the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the
bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with
unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions.
Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to
pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while
they were gone. Mine was to set the table.
When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter.
Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who
roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when more...