Aid Jokes

In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...

WILE E. COYOTE, Plaintiff v. s. THE ACME COMPANY, INC., Defendant In the United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B191294, Judge Joan Kujava, Presiding Plaintiff, Mr. Wiley E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to more...

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Real software engineers eat quiche.

Real software engineers don`t read dumps. They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused.

Real software engineers don`t comment their code. The identifiers are so mnemonic they don`t have to.

Real software engineers don`t write applications programs, they implement algorithms. If someone has an application that the algorithm might help with, that`s nice. Don`t ask them to write the user interface, though.

If it doesn`t have recursive function calls, real software engineers don`t program in it.

Real software engineers don`t program in assembler. They become queasy at the very thought.

Real software engineers don`t debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn`t necessarily involve executing anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package.

Real software engineers like C`s more...

A MAN goes to the doctor complaining of hearing loss. The doctor examines him and says he wants to fix the fellow with a new hearing aid.
'This is the finest hearing aid now being manufactured. I wear one myself/ says the doctor.
'What kind is it?' asks the man.
'About half-past four!'