Coyote Jokes

In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...

WILE E. COYOTE, Plaintiff v. s. THE ACME COMPANY, INC., Defendant In the United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B191294, Judge Joan Kujava, Presiding Plaintiff, Mr. Wiley E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to more...

Ever hear about the blonde coyote who got a leg stuck in a trap -
she chewed off three legs and was still stuck!

The Road Runner cannot harm the coyote exept by going "Beep Beep!"
No outside force can harm the Coyote-only his own ineptitude or the failure of the ACME products.
The Coyote could stop anytime - IF he were not a fanatic. "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim" - George Santayana.
No dialogue ever, except "Beep Beep!"
The road Runner must stay on the road - otherwise, logically, he would not be called Road Runner.
All Action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters - the Southwest American desert.
All material, tools, weapons, or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the ACME Corporation.
Whenever possible, make gravity the Coyote's greatest enemy.
The Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures

Sorry Texans.... A Texas game warden came upon a coyote caught in a trap. He returned tohis office and called the Oklahoma game warden and told him one of hiscoyotes was caught in a trap." How do you know it's one of our coyotes?" asked the Oklahoma gamewarden." Well," replied the Texas game warden, "He's already chewed off threeof his legs and he's still trapped!"