Ohio Jokes / Recent Jokes
Some pizza boxes from suburban Ohio pizza parlors will features mug shots of deadbeat parents.
The hope is that some of them will see their picture, and realize that if they just order a regular pie without extra toppings, they can save up enough money to donate to their kids.
After having their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough(they could not afford a larger double wide).
So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Kentucky), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Kentuckian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove to Ohio to get a second opinion.
The Ohio physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Kentucky. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, more...
A redneck and a Frenchman were caught in Kentucky for making and selling bad moonshine. The law decided to hang them off the middle of the Ohio Bridge. They tied the rope around the Frenchman's neck and said, "Do you have any last words?"
He said, "No."
They threw him off the bridge, but the rope was too long. He removed the rope from his neck and swam to the Ohio side of the river.
Then they tied the same rope around the redneck's neck and said, "Do you have any last words to say?"
He said, "Yes, shorten up that rope boys 'cause I can't swim."
Extracted from US news papers:
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A 24-YEAR-old man being chased by a police officer from a Beverly Hills, Calif., house that he was
suspected of burglarizing ran into a tree branch and knocked himself unconscious. In September, in
Akron, Ohio, police said that Christopher S. Dobbins, 28, in the process of robbing Leonardo's Pizza,
slipped on a streak of grease on the floor, which was the result of a dropped pizza earlier in the
evening, and knocked himself out.
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IN ST. LOUIS IN OCTOBER, according to police, Robert Puelo, 32, stole a hot dog from a 7-Eleven and
left the store, cramming it into his mouth as he ran. Minutes later, Puelo choked to death on a
6-inch piece of the hot dog that lodged in his throat.
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In Council Bluffs, Iowa, seven relatives ranging in age from 10 to 71 piled into the family car
intending to commit suicide over more...
Mike Holmgren is interested in joining the Cleveland Browns. Now he just needs to find some players who will do the same.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson want to move to Ohio?
A: He heard there's a Youngstown there.
Some people are kind, polite and sweet-spirited - until you try to get into their pew.
[George Goldtrap, Madison, Tennessee]The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
[Mark Twain]Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
[Fred Allen]Do you know the three times that most people are in church? When they are hatched, matched and dispatched.
[Lowell B. Yoder, Holland, Ohio]Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you couldn't belong.
[Msgr. JosephP. Dooley, Martins Creek, Pennsylvania]If a church wants a better pastor, it can get one by praying for the one it has.
[Rev. Robert E. Harris]A lot of church members who are singing "Standing On The Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
[Sr. Monique Rysavy]We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers.
[Donna Maddux, Stillwater, Oklahoma]Every evening I turn my more...