Oklahoma Jokes / Recent Jokes

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
The following are this year's candidates:
1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might more...

The only good thing to ever come out of Oklahoma:An empty greyhound.

Three college football coaches were flying across the country when their airplane crashed and all three died. They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God motioned for one of them to come into the clouds.
God wanted to know three things: "Who are you? What did you do? What did people think of you?"
The first coach said, "I'm Joe Paterno. I coached Penn State from 1966 to 2000. I won 300 games, 19 bowl victories, 2 national championships, and won Coach of the Year 4 times. The people of Pennsylvania think I'm great."
God said, "Fine, Joe, stand at my right side."
The next person said, "I'm Bobby Bowden. I coached Florida State University from 1980 to 2000. I had a. 816 win percentage, played in 14 bowl games without a loss and won a national championship after beating Nebraska. The people of Florida think I'm great."
God said, "Fine, Bobby, stand at my left side."
The third coach stood more...

Three college football coaches were
flying across the country when their airplane crashed and all three
died.
They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God
motioned
for one of them to come into the clouds.
God
wanted to know three things: "Who are you? What did you do? What
did
people think of you?"
The first coach said, "I'm Joe Paterno. I
coached Penn State from
1966 to 2000. I won 300 games, 19 bowl
victories, 2 national
championships, and won Coach of the Year 4 times.
The people of Pennsylvania think
I'm great."
God said,
"Fine, Joe, stand at my right side."
The next person said, "I'm
Bobby Bowden. I coached Florida State
University from 1980 to 2000.
I had a. 816 win percentage, played in 14
bowl games without a loss
and won a national championship after beating
Nebraska. The people
of Florida think more...

In North Carolina, it is against the law to use elephants to plow cotton fields.
In New York City, one is forbidden from shooting rabbits from the back end of a Third Avenue streetcar when it is moving.
In Kansas, people cannot shoot rabbits while in a motorboat.
In Statesville, North Carolina, it is against the law to race rabbits in the streets.
In Tuscumbia, Alabama, no more than eight rabbits can reside on the same block.
A law in Detroit, Michigan, prohibits crocodiles from being tied to a fire hydrant.
Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, New York.
In Baltimore, Maryland, it is necessary to document any services performed by a jackass.
In Ohio, it is against the law to set a fire under your mule if it balks.
In Arkansas, if your 2-year-old mule runs wild and is unclaimed within 2 days, anyone may castrate the animal.
In Marshalltown, Iowa, a horse will be breaking the law if it eats a fire more...

Three college football coaches were flying across the country when their airplane crashed and all three died. They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God motioned for one of them to come into the clouds. God wanted to know three things: "Who are you? What did you do? What did people think of you?" The first coach said, "I'm Joe Paterno. I coached Penn State from 1966 to 2000. I won 300 games, 19 bowl victories, 2 national championships, and won Coach of the Year 4 times. The people of Pennsylvania think I'm great." God said, "Fine, Joe, stand at my right side." The next person said, "I'm Bobby Bowden. I coached Florida State University from 1980 to 2000. I had a. 816 win percentage, played in 14 bowl games without a loss and won a national championship after beating Nebraska. The people of Florida think I'm great." God said, "Fine, Bobby, stan d at my left side." The third coach stood before God and said, "I'm more...

Three young men in Oklahoma were enjoying the coming Fourth of July holiday and wanted to test fire some fireworks. The only real problem was, their launch pad and seating arrangements were atop a several hundred thousand gallon fuel distillation storage tank. Oddly enough, fumes were ignited, producing a fireball seen for miles. They were launched several hundred feet into the air and found dead some 250 yards from their respective seats.