Old-fashioned Jokes

A city boy went duck hunting in the country one day. While hunting
he shot a duck which fell on the property of a farmer. The boy crawled
over the fence to claim his kill. But, the farmer, seeing what had
happened rushed out with his shotgun and yelled, "See here! That duck
belongs too me!"
The city boy replies, "But I shot the duck, therefore it belongs to me!"
The farmer says, "It fell on my property so it belongs to me!" They
continue to argue, each claiming ownership of the duck. After awhile the
farmer says, "We should settle this the old-fashioned way."
The city boy asks, "What is the 'old-fashioned way'?"
The farmer explains, "First, I kick you in the groin. Then, you kick
me in the groin and we continue in this fashion until one of us gives up.
The one who wins gets the duck."
The city boy, willing to do anything to get his duck and leave, agrees
to the contest. more...

I make money the old-fashioned way. My salary is the same as it was ten years ago.

Old-fashioned Zachary approached Lureen's father, intent upon asking him for her hand in marriage. "Sir," he blurted out, "I have an attachment for your daughter, and " "See here, young man," interrupted the parent, "when my daughter needs accessories, I'll buy them myself."

Drinking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party rush,
Faces are hung o'er the balcony, everybody is a lush.

Drinking around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas drunkards
through,
Later we'll do some vomiting, and our arms will hug the loo.

You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover's on its way,
Everybody's wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.

(drunken sax solo.)

You will get an upset stomach feeling when you taste
Vodka through your nose, oh golly,
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Drinking around the Christmas tree, your hangover's on its way,
Everybody's wearing ice pack hats in the new old-fashioned way.

My friend is a rather old-fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a week's vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground and asked for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was properly equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about the "toilet" facitilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up the the old-fashioned term "bathroom commode". But after she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So, she started all over again and re-wrote the entire letter. This time, she referred to the bathroom commode as merely B.C. "Does the campground have its own B.C.?" she wrote.
The campground owner wasn't old-fashioned, and he just couldn't figure out what the woman was talking about. The business about "B.C." stumped him. After much more...