Optimist Jokes / Recent Jokes
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds,
and the pessimist fears this is true.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. — James Branch Cabell
Two friends, one an Optimist and the other a Pessimist, could never quite agree on any topic of discussion.
One day the Optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his Pessimistic friend out of his way of continual Pessimistic way of thinking.
The Optimist owned a huntin' dog that could walk on water. His plan? Take the Pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat. They got out into the middle of the lake, and the Optimist shot down a duck. The dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat.
The Optimist looked at his Pessimistic friend and said, "What do you think about that?"
The Pessimist replied, "That dog can't swim, can he?"
OPTIMIST, n.
a doctor who advises a mother of five active youngsters "to relax"
a guy who thinks the woman in the phone booth will be out in a moment when he hears her saying "good-bye"
the guy who believes that the "E" on the car's gas gauge means "enough"
the person who is hired to write the text of a company's prospectus
an individual who always proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds (a pessimist fears this is true)
a citizen who votes for a congressman because he promised to lower taxes by eliminating government waste
a person who waits for his ship to come in even if he has never launched one
a person who realizes each morning that someday this will be one of the "good old days"
the woman who really believes that the man she is about to marry is better than the one she just divorced
a philosopher (with the news these days) who realizes that it takes a great deal of more...
The Wisdom of Youth Never give up because life gets harder as you get older. After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier. Angela Martin, age 11 Never blow in a cat's ear because if you do, usually after three or four times, they will bite your lips! And they don't let go for at least a minute. Lisa Coburn, age 9 Don't think life is easy, because when you get older it is hard work. I used to think life was easy, now I have to do the dishes every other day. Nick Coleman, age 9 Take risks. I mean, if you like this person and you don't know if they like you, ask them out and see what happens. I liked this girl and I asked her out. She said no and she hates me now, but I took that risk. Bruce Wagner, age 13 A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. Megan, age 14 When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, more...
Josh lived in a small town and was well know for being the eternal optimist. No matter how horrible a situation was, Josh could always think of a way it could be worse. Eventually, everyone in town tired of hearing him say that, so they decided to tell him a lie.
"Josh, did you hear that Rick found his wife in bed with another man last night? He shot the man and then himself. Isn't that horrible?"
"Yes, that is horrible," Josh replied. "It could have been worse though."
"How could THAT possibly be worse?"
"Had it been the night before," Josh said, "I'd be dead!"