Orange Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old man goes to the doctor and says "Dr., I don't know what's wrongwith me. My dick is orange."The Dr. tells him to pull down his pants and let him take a look. Hehas no idea what is wrong so he asks the guy if he has recently paintedanything orange.The old man said "No."The Dr. thinks for a minute and then asks the guy if he has recentlybeen exposed to any chemicals at work.The old man said "No, I'm retired."The Dr. then asks the guy if he could have been working with anychemicals in his garage.The old man replied "No Dr., I told you, I'm retired. All I do is sitaround all day, watch pornos and eat Cheetos...

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Orange!
Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say Banana!

A guy goes to his doctor and says "Doc, ya gotta help me. My dick is turning orange!"
Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can have a look. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange! Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person's life. How are things going at work?"
The guy responds that he was fired 6 weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. Guy says "No, the boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hrs of overtime every week, and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple weeks ago where I can set my own hours, I'm getting twice my old pay, and the boss is real cool."
So the doc thinks a little longer and says "Well, do you have any hobbies or a social life?" Guy says, "No, most nights I just sit at home watching porno flicks and eating Cheetos."

Paddy and Mike had just arrived in New York from Dublin and were walking
around the city. Since they didn't know about traffic signals they crossed
the street at will and were almost hit several times. Finally, Officer
Flaherty spots them and comes running up, yelling, "Are ye daft, crossin'
on the red?" "Pardon us, constable," Paddy says, "but we've just come from
the Old Country." "Ah, well," the cop says, "that explains it. Listen,
you only cross when the light is green. Ya got that?...only on the green!"
So Paddy and Mike continue their walk, and they wait on the orange and red
and only cross on the green. After they wait through a few orange and red
lights, Paddy turns to Mike and says, "They don't give the Protestants much
time to get across, do they?"

a guy goes to the doctor and says "
doc i have the weirdest problem. my um penis has turned orange.
"
ok may i take a look at the problem"
says the doctor
the guy pulles down his pants and showes him. and sure enough his entire dick is bright orange.
well says the doctor, do you know how you might have got this? not a clue replies the man. how long have you had this askes the doctor. about two weeks says the man.
have you changed your scedual or habits in any way in the past two weeks askes the doctor. well i got a new job about two tuesdays ago.
whats your job, if you dont mind me asking askes the doctor. its pretty simple says the man i just sit in a theater and watch porno and eat cheatos.

Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who
Orange you tired of hearing the same stupid jokes about oranges?