Ouch Jokes / Recent Jokes
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up." "That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw, come on," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish !" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon."
A little girl was walking along a beach in California whenshe came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspapercovering his genitals.The little girl said, "What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?"The man said, "Nothing, it's just a bird, now go away!"The man thought nothing of her and quickly fell asleep.Hours later, the man woke up in a hospital bed in excrutiating pain."Where the hell am I?"A doctor replied, "Someone called 9-1-1 and said you needed emergencyhelp, so we rushed you right over.""Well, what the hell happened to me?""We don't know, son. Do you remember anything unusual happeningto you today?"The man said, "Well, there was a little girl bugging me justbefore I fell asleep." The doctor sent someone to the beach to see if the little girl wasstill there, and she was. The person said, "Do you know what happenedto that nice man you saw here earlier?""Well," the little girl more...
What's pink and slowly turns red? A baby chewing a razor blade.
There was this one lady who went to the doctor.she runs up to the doctor an says doctor doctor can u help me i hurt everyware!!! the doctor says thats inpossible an he says touch youre elbo the lady does it... Ouch it hurts she said he says touch youre nose... Ouch that hurt even worse ok well touch youre head OUCHHHHHhhhhhh!!! that hurts well... the doctor takes her into the back room an takes X-rays an says miss i think i found out whats wronge... it seems that u have broken youre finger!!!
What's worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook!
Two Frenchmen came to New York for a vacation. The first thing they did leaving the hotel was to buy an American-French dictionary. Without a guide, they decided to learn English word by word in the simplest way they could think of - continuously browsing through the dictionary, picking at random a certain word and look up its definition.
So they went into a coffee shop and started off right away. The first word they came upon happened to be "Ouch" which was defined as "an interjection used to express a mixed feeling of surprise, sudden pain and anger." It was then that they suddenly realized they did not have the slightest idea what those cryptic pronunciation symbols might sound like. Thinking hard, one of the Frenchmen finally came up with a bright idea:
"Well, don't worry, mon ami. I suppose the best way for us to learn how to pronounce that word is to get a native say it out loud!"
"But how? I'm afraid nobody in this busy town is more...