Overheard Jokes

Top Ten Things Overheard at the Michael Jackson/Lisa Marie Presley Wedding
10. Family to the left, plastic surgeons to the right.
9. She could've used a little more of his eye-liner.
8. I bet they didn't have to get married.
7. I'll have to ask you to check your snake at the door, La Toya.
6. I'm sorry, I can't find a Brooke Shields on the guest list, ma'am.
5. There's that strange whirring sound again - as if some deceased rock star were spinning in his grave.
4. I got you some his and hers towels. Split 'em up however you like.
3. I'm Mr. Tito Jackson. You mean Dr. Tito Jackson? Yes I am.
2. Ahhh! The ghost of Elvis is eating all the cake - oh, it's just Liz Taylor.
1. I just heard on the weather channel - hell froze over.

I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant "I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old, but its got to be simple enough for his father to play, too."

Top Ten Things Overheard in the White House
10. Socks just has to go on a very long vacation, that's all.
9. Dad, who are those people on the lawn trying to look through my windows?
8. How many times have your father and I told you not to tickle the man
with the briefcase handcuffed to his wrist, young lady?
7. We all would have liked for your friend to come over to play, Chelsea,
but she's a foreign national.
6. I'm sorry the secret service guard wouldn't let you kiss your date,
honey, but he was just being careful.
5. No, I can't come to school for career day, Chelsea.
4. That's MY chair, Hillary.
3. Chelsea, just because your mother and I smoke it doesn't mean you can.
2. Because I'm the President, THAT'S why.
1. My dad? He's taking a nap, President Yeltsin. Can I take a message?

Overheard in a computer shop:Customer: “I'd like a mouse mat, please.”Salesperson: “Certainly sir, we've got a large variety.”Customer: “But will they be compatible with my computer?”

Overheard at the White House Super Bowl XXXII party:
"For the last time, Bill. It's not pronounced Triple-X? Aye, aye!"