Pal Jokes

A guy falls asleep on the train and misses his stop. He gets
off at the end of the line and asks a cabbie how much a ride
to his crib would be.
"20 bucks, pal"
"Listen, I've got five on me and the rest at home."
"Take a hike, Pal."
The guy walks 15 miles home at 3: 00 a. m. plotting revenge the
whole way. The next night, he gets off at the same stop as the
night previous, and sees the same cabby third in a queue. He
asks the first driver in line how much the fare is..
"20 bucks."
"How about five and a blowjob?" he asked
"Take a friggin' hike you &$*# pansy"
He then asked the second driver in line how much the ride would
be "20 bucks"
He made the same proposition and received pretty much the same
response. He then hopped in the cab with the driver from the
night
before, handed him 25 bucks and drove away winking at the more...

"Did I tell you about the new woman in the personnel department?" my pal asked.
"Nope," I replied.
"Well I went down to her office, to take a look at her PC the other day and we had quite a long chat about cars. I was telling her about my new Jag and as soon as I mentioned it, she started telling me that she’s got an itchy pussy."
I gulped and asked, "And what did you say to that?"
"I said, I’m not in the slightest bit impressed," my pal continued, "I’d rather have a sports car any day, because I think all of those Japanese four-by-fours look the same."

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed. ...................+1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
* You leave the toilet seat up.............-5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
* in the snow...............+8
* but return with beer..........-5
* and no more...

A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the polish jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, this big guy came in and said to me, "Hey pal, I'm Polish and I don't like you telling all those Polish jokes!"

So I said, "Well, they're not against you, pal, just against anyone in Poland."

"My mother is in Poland!" He screams, and pulls out a razor.

Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me if he had found a place to plug it in.

Tondo, Manila
May 16, 1957 Dearest Pal. Hello! How's life going on there. I hope that you are in good health upon receiving my letter or may be you got suspened "coz" you did not expect that you can receive a letter from me. But before the world prolong into a line may I ask first you a gretest apology if ever I disturb you rest and relaxation expecially that when you are in concentration of you studying. And at the same time Pal, I greet you pleasant hello. I hope you can enjoing your life there. Pal, maybe you ask to yourself there if were came I know your name. By the pal, I found your name from column of song hit. And then I decide to make this letter for the reason that I want also a friend in other places so don't think any malice here my lettter okey!. But before I go to further may I introduce first my simple personality to you. Well....... beginning for the love of my parent they got a boy and have a name. My name is Joseph Marcelo Ejercito a fourth year high more...