Overweight Jokes / Recent Jokes

A brunette is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you`ll have lost at least five pounds." When the brunette returns, she`s lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that`s amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The brunette nods. "I`ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from all that skipping."

A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet." I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks." He said. "The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds." Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping!"

A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet." I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, andrepeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'llhave lost at least 5 pounds." When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly20 pounds." Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow myinstructions?" The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going todrop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping."

China will be placing restrictions on adoptions, barring overweight foreigners from adopting its children. This is clearly targeted at Americans, who tend to be overweight.
That’s pretty good: They send their people over here like every other culture does - to open restaurants where their ethnic cuisine is four time as rich as it is in the motherland, supposedly to suit the American palate but really it’s to make Americans too fat to fight in battle - while the ethnics somehow stay thin eating their food.
They’re fattening us up for the slaughter! And now they don’t even want us adopting their children, lest they grow up too fat to spy on us.
Or maybe China just wants to know that the Chinese who get to leave aren’t going to be eating any better than the ones who are starving in China.

Santa took his dog to the vet for its annual check-up.
"Your dog is overweight," the vet said. "You should cut back on his food a little and make sure he gets some exercise. Try playing fetch with him."
"That's impossible," Santa replied. "I can't play fetch with my dog."
"Why not?" asked the puzzled vet.
"Because," Santa said, "he can't throw."

There is a national compaign underway in Mexico to fight obesity. According to the Mexican government, nearly half of Mexico's 110 million people are overweight. Officials are concerned that overweight Mexicans will have difficulty climbing US security fences.

A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks." He said. "The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping!"