Oysters Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. You know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man's sex life?
A. Because women know if he'll eat one of those, he'll eat anything!
The bride-to-be and her best friend were discussing the
former's impending wedding.
"If you want an unforgettable wedding night," her friend
said, "get him to eat a dozen oysters after the ceremony."
A week after, the new bride thanked her friend but said
plaintively, "Only eight of the oysters worked."
[Contributed by Mike Kane.]
Two young men seated in a restaurant were watching a customer busily disposing of a plate of oysters on the half-shell. One of the young men remarked to his friend: "Did you ever hear that business about raw oysters being good for a man's virility?"
"Yes, why?" the friend replied.
"Well, take it from me, that's a lot of foolishness. I ate a dozen of them the other night and only nine worked."
THE PERFECT DAY - HER
8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex - notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms
THE PERFECT DAY - HIM
6:45 Alarm.
7:00-7:30 Shower and massage.
7:30-7:45 Blow-Job!
7:45-8:15 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30-12:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30-12:45 Blow-Job!
12:45-2:30 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30-6:15 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon more...
Q: Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? A: Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.