Pack Jokes / Recent Jokes

Woman rushes into her house one morning and yells to her husband,
"Sam, pack up your stuff. I just won the lottery!"
"Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
"Whatever. Just so you're out of the house by noon!"

Customer: "Hi, I'm supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?"

1- Nike Condoms: Just do it.
2- Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
3- Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
4- Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
5- Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
6- Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten millon strong and growing.
7- Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but Ph balanced for a
woman.
8- Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
9- Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
10- Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
11- Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish
everybody did?
12- New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know.
13- California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
14- Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
15- EverReady Condoms: Keeps going and going.
16- KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
17- Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.
18- Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
19- Cambells Soup more...

Which condom would you use.... Nike Condoms: Just do it. Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling. Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby. Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop. Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker. Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing. Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple. Ford Condoms: The best never rest. Chevy Condoms: Like a rock. Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did? New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know. California Lotto Condoms: Who's next? Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever. KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good. Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing. Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one. Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good. The Carl's Jr. Condom: If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face... General Electric: We bring good things to life! AT&T condom:' Reach out more...

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad? ” To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son…. Men use them to have safe sex. ” “Oh I see, ” replied the boys pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school. ” He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package. ” The dad replies, “Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday. ” “Cool! ” says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, “Then who are these for? ” “Those are for college men. ” the dad answers, “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday. ” “WOW! ” exclaimed the boy, “then who uses THESE? ” he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…….. ”

There was once this guy and a girl in a car, parked neatly on Makeout Ridge, and they were, well, doing the obvious. So, here they were, naked as jay birds, when the guy suddenly says: "I need a cigarette." "But honey," his lover says. "The store closes in two minutes. You'll never have time to get to the store, and get dressed." "That's okay," He quips. "I'll just run down there naked, and if anyone sees me, I'll pretend I'm a statue." So the young man ran down to the store, got two packs of cigarettes (this store was obviously in a heavy nudist area or something), and starts to run back. The car is in sight, and he has a few more yards to go, when all of the sudden three nuns round the corner. He panics, and freezes like a statue, his beloved cigarettes in one hand. The first nun walks over to the young man. "Oh! What a beautiful cigarette dispenser!" She exclaimed. She sticks a quarter up his ass, pulls on his dong, and he more...

A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
The wife says, "Great! What should I pack for? The ocean or the mountains?"
He says, "I don't care! Just be out by the end of the week!"