Packed Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two blondes were skiing at Aspen, when they got into a debate about the best way to ski down a particular hill. “The best way is down the left side of the course, where it’s nearly all powder, ” said the first blonde. “No, the best way is straight down the middle, where the snow is packed tight, ” argued the other. “Look, ” said the first blonde. “Let’s get another opinion. There’s a guy dragging a sled up the hill. Let’s go ask him. ” The second blonde agreed, and in a few minutes the two of them caught up with the guy. “Excuse me, ” said the first blonde. “I say the best way to ski down this hill is to take the left side of the course, where it’s nearly all powder, but my friend thinks the best way is straight down the middle, where the snow is packed tight. Can you tell us who’s right? ” “Sorry, ladies, ” said the man, “but there’s no use in asking me. I’m a tobogganist. ” “Oh, ” said the second blonde. “Well, in that case, can more...

NEW AUSSIE SLANG DICTIONARY, 2002 AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached or dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BADLY PACKED KEBAB
A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia
BEER COAT
The invisible, but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze
cruise at 3 in the morning.
BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a
booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live,
how you got there, and where you've come from.
BRUCE LEE
Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
BUDGIE'S TONGUE or SMALL MAN IN A BOAT, or TONGUE PUNCHBAG The female erection.
DOUBLE BASS
A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her
Budgie's tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing the double bass more...

While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not.
I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?"
The blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."