Painting Jokes / Recent Jokes

A homeless man pleaded guilty to attacking a $3.4 million Joshua Reynolds painting with a hammer in London's National Portrait Gallery.

If convicted, the man will be sentenced to remain homeless.

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They`re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No way! They have no clothes and no shelter," the Russian points out, "They have only an apple to eat, and they are being told they live in a paradise. Obviously, they are Russian."

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results put on two coats"

The curator of a Western art museum commissioned a local artist to paint a mural-sized painting of Custer's Last Thought. The artist was told to make it highly symbolic of Custer's mindset during the debacle at the Little Big Horn.

Deep in thought, the artist went to his studio. After many false starts, he proceeded to paint an enormous oil painting. Finally, after many months of work, the painting was unveiled for the curator.

In the foreground there was a beautiful blue lake with a single fish leaping out of the water. Around the fish's head was a halo. In the background, the hills and meadows were covered with naked Native American couples having sex.

The curator, both disgusted and baffled by what he saw, turned in rage and asked the artist,' What the hell has this got to do with Custer's Last Thought?'

The artist replied,' Custer's last thought: Holy Mackerel! Where did all these fucking Indians come from?'

Americans and Russians were competing who would go to the moon and build more on it. The minister comes to the American president: Mister President, the Russians have already launched their spaceship!
President: Yes, yes, let them! A few days later: Mister President, the Russians have already landed on the moon!
President: Yes, yes, calm down! In a week: Mister President, it's the Russians, the started painting the moon red!
President: That's fine, just fine! In a month: Mister President, the Russians have painted half the moon red, we'd better do something too!!
President: No, no, don't worry! In two months: Mister President, the Russians have finished painting the moon, the whole moon is red now!!
President: That's great, now send our spaceship up there to write Coca-Cola on it!

One Day, A sardarji went to take an art class. His art teacher gave the assignment that he must paint something. The sardarji did not know what to paint, so the teacher told him to paint that which he felt was the most beautiful thing in the world.

The sardarji thought, Nothing can be more beautiful than my village, so I shall paint that. The sardarji spent all his time working on the painting the next day. He did not eat, sleep, or take a bath.

Finally, he took the painting to his art teacher. His art teacher was amazed at the detail of the picture, but he said, "No, no, there is something missing. Go back to your village and see what you have missed."

The sardarji went back to his village and revised his painting. The next day in class, he returned with the painting. He presented a black canvas to his instructor. His instructor said, "What! You fool!
I said revise not destroy!"

The sardarji said, "Well you more...

The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts. Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating. After gaping at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be. The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking,' Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"