Custer Jokes

An artist was commissioned to do a mural to be placed in the Museum of the site of the "Battle of the Big Horn." He was asked to do an oil painting depicting what Gen. George A. Custer's last thoughts could have been just prior to his death on the battlefield.
At the mural's unveiling, dignitaries from all over the country attended. All in attendance were shocked when the mural was unveiled. There was a painting showing General Custer in deep thought, with two caption clouds over his head. Inside one of the clouds was painted a pile of manure with a "halo" over it. Inside the other caption cloud were multitudes of naked Indians making love.
The Governor of Montana, who was acting as the Master of Ceremonies, called the artist to the microphone so he could explain what all this meant. The artist said, "Well, there's General Custer and he's thinking - holy shit, where did all these fuckin' Indians come from?"

The following are supposedly true headlines that have appeared in papers during the war. Some Leading Papers' Coverage of Custer's Massacre Variety: "Custer Closes Out of Town" Pravda: "Big Red Victory." Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series" Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback" Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff" The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"

The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts.

Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating.

After gaping at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be.

The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking,' Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"

The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts. Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating. After gaping at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be. The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking,' Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"

The following are supposedly true headlines that have appeared in papers during the war.

Some Leading Papers' Coverage of Custer's Massacre

Variety: "Custer Closes Out of Town"

Pravda: "Big Red Victory."

Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series"

Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback"

Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff"

The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"