"Custer's Last Thoughts" joke
An artist was commissioned to do a mural to be placed in the Museum of the site of the "Battle of the Big Horn." He was asked to do an oil painting depicting what Gen. George A. Custer's last thoughts could have been just prior to his death on the battlefield.
At the mural's unveiling, dignitaries from all over the country attended. All in attendance were shocked when the mural was unveiled. There was a painting showing General Custer in deep thought, with two caption clouds over his head. Inside one of the clouds was painted a pile of manure with a "halo" over it. Inside the other caption cloud were multitudes of naked Indians making love.
The Governor of Montana, who was acting as the Master of Ceremonies, called the artist to the microphone so he could explain what all this meant. The artist said, "Well, there's General Custer and he's thinking - holy shit, where did all these fuckin' Indians come from?"
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in more...
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...