Painting Jokes / Recent Jokes

The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer’s last thoughts.
Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating.
After gaping at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be.
The artist said, “You asked for a painting of Custer’s last thoughts, ” he explained. “That’s it. Custer was thinking, ‘Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from? ’”

An Indian man made a painting with the sun above a beach. He proudly displayed his painting. When people marvel at his work and asked," What's it called?" He said," Sun of a Beach."

At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture.
“What a great realist that painter is! ” he exclaimed.
“What painter? ”
“The one that painted this picture ‘Soldiers at Work’. ”
“Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren’t working at all! ”
“That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture.

The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts.

Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating.

After gaping at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be.

The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking,' Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting. Woman discovered hunting, invented furs. Man discovered colors, invented painting. Woman discovered painting, invented make-up. Man discovered speech, invented conversation. Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip. Man discovered agriculture, invented food. Woman discovered food, invented diet. Man discovered friendship, invented love. Woman discovered love, invented marriage. Man discovered woman, invented sex. Woman discovered sex, invented headache. Man discovered trade, invented money. Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.

At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture.

"What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed.

"What painter?"

"The one that painted this picture' Soldiers at Work'."

"Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren't working at all!"

"That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
“Look at their reserve, their calm, ” muses the Brit. “They must be British. ”
“Nonsense, ” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French. ”
“No clothes, no shelter, ” the Russian points out, “they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian. ”