Panda Jokes / Recent Jokes
A panda was out one night and spotted a fit bird, so he grabbed the bird and took her home and had a bit of.... you know!
The next morning the bird says "That'll be 60 quid please!"
"Excuse me?" said the panda.
"I'm a prostitue. Look it up in the dictonary. It says sleeps with people for money."
"I'm a panda. Look me up in the dictionary.
PANDA noun Eats shoots and leaves."
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
PANDA WALKS INTO A BAR...
A panda walked into a bar and went up to the barman and said: "I want a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please." The barman took his order and the Panda went to sit down at a table. Soon, a waiter took over the meal, the Panda gobbled it up, thanked, tipped the waiter and paid his bill.
All seemed normal until the Panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter dead.
The barman rushed over and said: "Argh! You just shot my friend!!!" The Panda calmly replied: "Do you know what I am?" "Of Course I do," the barman answered, "you're a Panda!" "Good," the Panda replied, "now go home and look me up in the dictionary." And with that, the Panda walked out of the bar.
The barman was a little unsure, but he was very eager to be enlightened on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his dictionary and after a while he more...
Officials at the Atlanta Zoo have announced the rare birth on Wednesday of a giant panda in captivity to parents Lun Lun and Yang Yang. Little Shiloh Nouvel Lun-Yang is reported to be doing fine.
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts,' Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!'
The panda yells back at the bartender,' Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!'
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:' A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves'.
A panda enters a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, then pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As he stands up to go, the manager yells, "Hey! Where do you think you're going? You just shot my waiter and you haven't paid for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey, man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
The manager opens the dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.
A panda walks into a bar and eats lunch. When he is finished he shoots the waiter and leaves.
The owner ran after the panda and asked him why he did such and thing. The panda replied, "Look up the word 'panda' in the dictionary."
The owner did so and it read, "Panadas are black and white animals. They eat shoots and leaves."