Panties Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"

The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

Man goes in bar. A mouse jumps out of his pocket. Bartender says, "nice mouse."

Man says, "not ordinary mouse. it talks."

Bartender says "oh yea, what about?"

Man says, "See that woman at the end of the bar, the mouse will tell me what colour panties she has on."

Bartender says "really? I gotta see this."

Man points to woman says to mouse; "Mouse: woman!" Mouse runs down sees woman's panties from the floor and comes back and says "pink."

"Wow, bartender says. will he do that for me?"

Man says "Sure."

Bartender sees a woman sitting at a table, points to her, says

"Mouse: woman!" Mouse runs out, comes tearing back, bounces off the bar into the bartenders pocket shaking like a leaf.

Bartender says "What's wrong with you?"

Mouse says "I taught I taw a puddy more...

President Clinton was seen walking around the White House one day recently. Laying across one shoulder was a pair of ladies nylon panties.
Nervously one White House Aide approach the President and asked about the panties.
"Oh those," Replied the President, "I'm trying to quit. That's the patch."

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.
The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on."
The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened.
Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church.
As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.
The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.
The priest hands the lady $1 and says... "Lady, take more...

President Clinton was seen walking around the White House one day recently. Laying across one shoulder was a pair of ladies nylon panties.Nervously one White House Aide approach the President and asked about the panties."Oh those," Replied the President, "I'm trying to quit. That's the patch."

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day.As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on."The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened.Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church.As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.The priest hands the lady $1 and says..."Lady, take this money and for God's sake, go more...

BANDERSNATCH CHRISTMAS SHOPPING LIST

This year The Frumious Bandersnatch highlights some of the more
arcane or utterly worthless things you can give as a Christmas
gift.

PHOTO PANTIES
Have your picture silk screened onto your girlfriend's panties
for only $19. 95. You can imagine all the creative purposes this
can be put to.

YOU DON'T KNOW JACK II
The new edition of this game is designed for know-it-alls and
includes questions about subjects such as the difference between
Visigoths and Ostergoths that are sure to stump them.

FREE BAJA ARIZONA BUMPER STICKERS
We still have a supply of our non-waterproof bumper stickers that
melt away at the first drop of rain. Good for use only in
extremely arid regions.

WAX BULLETS
Perfect for shooting insects inside your house, our wax bullets
come in 22 and 38 caliber sizes.

LIVE TUMBLEWEEDS
Decorate your house in more...