"Christmas Shopping 1" joke

BANDERSNATCH CHRISTMAS SHOPPING LIST

This year The Frumious Bandersnatch highlights some of the more
arcane or utterly worthless things you can give as a Christmas
gift.

PHOTO PANTIES
Have your picture silk screened onto your girlfriend's panties
for only $19. 95. You can imagine all the creative purposes this
can be put to.

YOU DON'T KNOW JACK II
The new edition of this game is designed for know-it-alls and
includes questions about subjects such as the difference between
Visigoths and Ostergoths that are sure to stump them.

FREE BAJA ARIZONA BUMPER STICKERS
We still have a supply of our non-waterproof bumper stickers that
melt away at the first drop of rain. Good for use only in
extremely arid regions.

WAX BULLETS
Perfect for shooting insects inside your house, our wax bullets
come in 22 and 38 caliber sizes.

LIVE TUMBLEWEEDS
Decorate your house in Southwestern style with our live tumble-
weeds. Only $44. 00.

MARS LANDERS
NASA is offering its surplus Mars Landers for only $37 million
each. Guaranteed to vanish into interstellar space if launched.

VARIOUS ICBMs.
The Russian Strategic Rocket Forces is offering up to 32, 000
intercontinental ballistic missiles for sale at bargain basement
prices if purchased before December 31st. None are Y2K1
compliant. (them Russky's... always a year late!)

STUFFED PYGMY OWLS
The Tucson Homebuilders Association has stuffed pygmy owls for
sale. The endangered owls, which have shut down the home-
building industry in that city, are great for use in stopping
growth in your community. Complete with taped mating calls.

RAIN SOUNDS
Great for drought-ridden areas, our CD is rain falling on the
roof will allow you to pretend your local water supply will not
vanish.

MONICA MASKS
We still have a supply of Monica Lewinsky masks left over from
Halloween. Great for scaring your boss.

GDU DIPLOMAS
Our offer of free General Delivery University college diplomas is
about to expire one of these years.