Stickers Jokes

Bumper stickers seen this weekend. .... You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me. I have the body of a god........ Buddha. This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me. Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. The face is familiar but i can't quite remember my name. Illiterate? Write for help. Honk if anything falls off. He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit. This isn't my idea of a good time. It's been lovely, but I have to scream now. Uniquely maladjusted, but fun. This bumper sticker exploits illiterates. I haven't lost my mind it's backed up on disk somewhere. Oh, evolve! Gone crazy be back shortly. If you're not outraged you're not paying attention.

Funny Bumper Stickers:
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Auntie Em, hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Top 10 Bumper Stickers!
1... Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

2... If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

3... My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

4... To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing.

5... Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

6... I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

7... Illiterate? Write For Help

8... If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong

9... Cat: The Other White Meat

10... Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

Here are some "actual" bumper stickers reportedly seen on cars around the DC area:

HONK! If you had sex with the President
Clinton: We forgive you... Now Resign!
Al Gore: One heartthrob from the Presidency
Adultery IS NOT a family value
Does character matter YET?
One More Whore And We Get Gore
Bill Clinton: Commander in Heat
My President Fooled Around with Your Honor Student
Jail to the Chief
Today kids no longer play doctor, they play President
The Clinton Creed: Take Credit Not Responsibility
If his private life doesn't matter, let him date your daughter.
Save the President: Legalize Perjury
Two terms for Clinton: the second in jail
Clinton: Our Nation's Fondling Father

BUMPER STICKERS
I love cats. .. they taste just like chicken

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car

Montana -- At least our cows are sane!

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Your kid may be an honor student but YOU'RE still an IDIOT!

My kid can beat up your honor student!

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will, I want to be in more...