Parachuting Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde and a brunette go parachuting. The blonde jumps first, pulls her parachute cord, and slowly drifts in the air and enjoys the view.
The brunette jumps after her and pulls her parachute cord, but nothing happens! She pulls it again, this time as hard as she can, but still nothing. She pulls the cord to the emergency chute, but that doesn't open either. She passes by the blonde like a speeding bullet!
The blonde looks at her and says, while getting her parachute off her shoulders, "So, you want to race, do you?"

Sven and Ole decided to go parachuting. Sven jumps first, pulls his parachute cord, slowly drifts in the air, and enjoys the view.
Ole jumps after him, pulls his parachute cord but nothing happens. He pulls it again, this time as hard as he can, still nothing. He pulls the cord to the emergency chute, but that doesn't open either.
He passes by Sven like a speeding bullet.
Sven looks at him, and while unbuckling his parachute off his shoulders, says "Sooo, you want to race, do you???"

Two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are parachuting.
The blonde pulls her cord and the chute works perfectly. The brunette pulls her cord and nothing happens. She continues falling straight down.
As the brunette passes her friend, the blonde gets angry, unbuckles her harness and yells, "Oh, so you wanna race, huh?"

Sven and Ole decided to go parachuting. Sven jumps first, pulls his parachute cord, slowly drifts in the air, and enjoys the view.
Ole jumps after him, pulls his parachute cord but nothing happens. He pulls it again, this time as hard as he can, still nothing. He pulls the cord to the emergency chute, but that doesn't open either.
He passes by Sven like a speeding bullet.
Sven looks at him, and while unbuckling his parachute off his shoulders, says "Sooo, you want to race, do you???"

In a military training camp some recruits get educated in parachuting. After
some weeks of training on the ground they have to do their first jump.
Before the jump the instructor recalls, "You leave the air plane, count till
three and pull the cord. The parachute should open then. If it does not, pull
the emergency cord. Then the emergency parachute will open. On the ground there
is a lorry waiting. We will meet on the lorry again. Good luck!"
The first recruit jumps, counts till three and pulls the cord. Nothing happens.
He pulls the emergency cord. Nothing happens. The recruit is not surprised and
says, "As far as I know the army, I bet the lorry will not be there, either."