Park Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"She said, "Id love to be ten again."On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning
back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was
not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. I'd like
to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl
of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with
extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy,
M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her
husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He more...

Thistles may not grow in one's yard. A woman may not go through her husband's pockets while he is sleeping.Annapolis: It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. Baltimore: You cannot swear while inside the city limits. Baltimore: It is illegal to mistreat oysters. Baltimore: It is illegal to wash or scrub sinks no matter how dirty they get.Baltimore: It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. Baltimore: It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. Baltimore: It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898) -Park Rule 6 Baltimore: It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday. Baltimore City: Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited. Baltimore City: You may not curse inside the city limits. Columbia: You can not have more...

Jokes Difference between boys and girls while using ATM (Bank's cash dispenser machines) Boys: 1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser. 2. Insert card 3. Dial code and desired amount 4. Take the cash, the card and the slip Girls: 1. Drive to the bank 2. Engine stalled 3. Check make-up in the mirror 4. Apply perfume 5. Manually check haircut 6. Park the car - failure 7. Park the car - failure 8. Park the car - Success 9. Search for the card in the handbag 10. Insert card, rejected by the machine 11. Throw phone card back in handbag, 12. Look for bank card. 13. Insert Card 14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag 15. Enter code 16. Study instructions for 2 minutes 17. #Cancel# 18. Re-enter code 19. #Cancel# 20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code 21. Enter desired amount 22. #Error# 23. Enter bigger amount 24. #Error# 25. Enter maximum amount 26. Cross fingers 27. Take cash 28. Go back to the car 29. Check make up in rear mirror 30. more...

A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation. There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel. The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park,"What's that" says the Texan"Oh! That's Queens Park" says the Cabby, "Its our Provincial Government, its like your State Government" Those buildings are almost 200 years old and they are quite big". Oh! We have buildings much older than that and at least twice as large" says the Texan. They continue along and past First Canadian Place." Holy cow" says the Texan "What's that"?" Why that's First Canadian Place, its the biggest office complex in the country" says the Cabby " it took almost 4 years to build"." Really" says the Texan "Why in Houston they have buildings twice that big, and built in less than 1/2 the time"They continue on the way, the cabby a little miffed at the bragging, when they drive past more...

My brother used to be a police officer in Chicago. (He's now a rather
high-up muckity-muck in the police dept., but that's beside the point.)
He's told me some amusing anecdotes from Chicago police-work.
There was one story about people shoveling the snow for a parking space
in front their house. This apparently is a problem for the Chicago
police every winter. What happens is that somebody will park in a
nearby parking lot, then slave away for how ever many hours it takes to
shovel out a car-sized space in front of his house, naturally so he can
park his car there. Then he goes back to the lot to get his car.
When he returns home, he finds that the space has been taken by some
_other_ car. He is, well, upset.
What most people do is write nasty notes etc. and place them on the
windshield of the offending vehicle. Where the police get involved,
however, is the occasional case where the individual vents his wrath
in somewhat more more...

There was this Filipino who had a very big truck. One day, he went to a coliseum to see a baseball game. All the parking spaces were taken except one which said "COMPACT". He backed up to park in it, then a police officer came up to him and asked, "Sir, what are you doing?" He replied, "I'm parking here." The officer said, "Sir, you cannot park here it is a "COMPACT". So, the guy left and came back, then he went to the same parking space to park. The officer is like "what are you doing sir? I told you it was compact!" The guy said, "I know I did what you said I "COMPACT" I left and "COMPACT".