Park Jokes / Recent Jokes

You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only. On a highway you can not park under a bridge. If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates. There is no horse racing allowed on the New Jersey Turnpike.It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season. Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street. It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon. Bernards Township: It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone". Caldwell: You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue. Cranford: Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn. Cresskill: All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts. Elizabeth: It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat. Manville: It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo. Newark: more...

one day a girl is in the barth with her dad and says daddy wots that between your legs her dad says thats my car to park in garages the next week she is in the bath with her mam and says mammy wots that between your legs her mam says thats my garrage and cars park in it the next week shes in the bath with a boy and all the parents hear is ooowwwwwwwwswww!!! the parents go in and say wots wrong the little girl says his car would not fit so i pulled its wheels off

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said. "You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole said, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Again Ole replied, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the more...

A little kid is sitting on a park bench eating abag of chocolates an old man walking by stops to say that if he continues to eat like that he won`t live very long; indignantly the kid says " oh yeah my grandfather lived to be 104 years old" the old man replies "im sure he did kid. but it wasn`t from eating all that chocolate "oh no sir" says the kid, it was by minding his own business!

It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. It is illegal to get a fish drunk. It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house. Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes. No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July. In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00. Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited. Bay Village: It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road. Bexley: The installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses is prohibited. Clinton County: Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines. Cleveland: It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license! Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear. Columbus: It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday. Fairview Park: It's against the more...

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park... and couldn't find his way home. " Oy Morris ", said grandma, " You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost? " Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Morris whispered, " I wasn't lost..... I was just too tired to walk home."

Dumb New Jersey Laws
# You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only. [Reader Comments on this Law.]
# On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
# It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
# It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
# If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
# Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.
# You may not slurp your soup.
# Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
# It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
Bernards Township
# It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".
Caldwell
# You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.
Cranford
# Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.
Cresskill
# All cats must wear more...