Park Jokes / Recent Jokes

I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

where do gays park their bikes?
between thar battymen boyfriends sweatty poo ridden shit squelching spearhead rubbing hiv spreading AAASSSSS

14. “Twice as many rides - all 40% slower!! ”
13. The neighboring “Microsoft Theme Park” keeps trying to connect up its carriages to your cash register.
12. The really good rides you keep hearing about aren’t accessible at all.
11. Your ticket is good for “500 free hours! ” but the fine print reminds you that all free hours must be used today.
10. The sign outside the bigtop tent reads, “We’re sorry, all circus are busy right now. Please come back later. ”
9. Ride attendants keep insisting they’re busty young vixens despite the fact that they’re all over 40, dirty, and male.
8. None of the rides work, but big color pictures make it easy to find your way around.
7. A spiffy new look to the roller coaster since last time you visited, but it’s still just as rusty, squeaky and dangerous.
6. Even though you’ve paid your monthly entrance fee, you can’t get into the park any time except between midnight and six a. more...

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting that park every sunny day, for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each others friendship.

One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, "Please don't be angry with me dear, but I am embarrassed. After all these years, what is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't."

The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says, "How soon do you have to know?"

How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed?
He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.
Why did the blonde quit his job as a restroom attendant?
He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.
What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
Double-dumb.
How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?
The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.
Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married?
The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde?
You can park in handicapped zones.
What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
She slipped off and fell down the drain.
How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
It is the one with the kickstand.
What do you call an all-blonde skydiving team?
A new version of the Lawn more...

A little kid is sitting on a park bench eating abag of chocolates an old man walking by stops to say that if he continues to eat like that he won`t live very long; indignantly the kid says " oh yeah my grandfather lived to be 104 years old" the old man replies "i'm sure he did kid.but it wasn`t from eating all that chocolate "oh no sir" says the kid, it was by minding his own business!