Parking Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bad Jokes The following riddles and jokes were made up by BADJOKE.EXE, an MS-DOSprogram. You probably haven't heard most of them. Please try not to laughtoo hard and feel free to flame as much as you like-we are all likepassengers on the deck of the Titanic discussing what we're going to do whenwe get to shore.How can you tell when a mechanic has been behind your nuclear warhead? There are nubile lambchops all over your pizza! How can you tell when a pope has been coming towards your spaceship? There are laughing travelling salesmen in your banana! How do you get 100 gargoyles into a nuclear warhead? Throw in a lawn sprinkler! Why do motorcycles fold born-again eyeballs? To diaper their skyscrapers! Why do policemen have toilets? So that yaks will disobey them! What do you get when you cross a Barbie doll and a banana? An angry nurse! What did the Democrat say to the kettle drum?"Ignore my eyeball, you square baby!"What did the finger say ot the lawn sprinkler?"Enlist more...

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays. It is considered an offense to shower naked. You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. It is illegal to skateboard without a license. Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road. In Florida it is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.In Florida failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal.Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked more...

A friend of mine (Dave) told me this story over the summer,
and swore up and down that it's true (he says he witnessed it).
It sounds a little far-fetched, but is amusing nonetheless.
Here's the story:
Dave was standing in the parking lot of a 7-11 store when this
guy walked out of the store with a six pack (of beer he assumed)
in a brown paper sack. The guy walked between two cars and when
he did, the bag lightly touched one of the cars. As it turned
out, a guy and his girlfriend were sitting in the car, and the
boyfriend (trying to impress his girlfriend) got out of the car
and started bitching at this beer-guy for scratching his car. So
the beer-guy apologized but the boyfriend kept on ranting.
After a while, the beer-guy said, "If it'll make you feel any
better, go over and kick a few dents in my truck" and pointed to a
beat up pickup truck across the parking lot.
So the boyfriend
went over and started more...

Submitted by S. Yagna

On a busy road where parking was not permitted, the police fined a person who had illegally parked.

The car owner complained that he should not be fined.

The policeman asked: " Why? "

To which the owner replied, "Your board says' FINE FOR PARKING'

Parking fine!
Banta was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him, if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices," said Banta. "It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
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Sun Downer

Santa: "Yaar, where does the Sun go at night?"
Banta "It does not go anywhere. It remains there but due to darkness we cannot see it."

++++++++++
Skipping medicine!

Santa went to a doctor to get some medicine, as he was not feeling well. "This is pretty strong stuff," said the doctor, "So take some first day, then skip a day, take some again and then skip another day and so on."
A few months after the doctor met Sardarji’s wife and asked how he was. "Oh, he is in a coma," she told him. "So the medicine I prescribed to him did him no good?" asked the doctor.
"Oh, the medicine more...

1...Silence, the final frontier - Where no woman has gone before.2...The undiscovered side of Banking - How to make deposits.3...Combatting the Imelda Marcos Syndrome - You don't need new shoes everyday.4...Learn how not to inflict your Diets on other people.5...Nag Nag Nag - how to overcome your tendency to be a fish wife.6...An invitation to a party does not mean that you have to have a new outfit.7...Man Management - Discover how the garbage can wait until after the game.8...Personal Space - Leaving at least enough space in the bathroom cupboard for your partners toothbrush.9...Valuation - Just because it's not important to you.10..Communication Skills I - Tears as the last resort and not the first.11..Communication Skills II - How to think before speaking.12..What he really wants - Is buying the right razor blades so difficult.13..Driving a car safely - A skill you can also acquire.14..Real women drink their share at a party.15..Telephones - How to hang up.16..Parking - Beginners more...

Seen on a parking space in a church's parking lot in Edinburgh, IN
"Clergy parking only - you park, you preach!"