Parrot Jokes / Recent Jokes

While in the process of robbing a house the thief heard a voice whisper, "Jesus is watching you." He quickly turned around and searched the room with his flashlight but saw no one. Going back to what he was doing he again heard the voice, "Jesus is watching you." Again he stopped and scanned the room with his flashlight. Finally he spotted a small parrot in a bird cage.
Walking over to the parrot he asked if it was the one talking to him. The little parrot bobbed his head up and down and said, "Jesus is watching you."
"I gather your name is Jesus," said the thief.
"Nope, it's Moses," replied the parrot.
"Oh please, who in the world would name their parrot Moses," the thief said.
"The same people who named their Pit Bull Jesus," was the parrot's reply.

A Black man goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, " Where did you get him? " The Parrot replies, " In Africa, the're everywhere! "

This guy wanted a parrot who talked. He asked the pet store manager if there was a bird who was already speaking. The manager directed the guy to a bird by the window. "This bird has a vocabulary of 1000 words and another 50 phrases that would fit most occasions."
The guy bought the bird and took it home.
Next day, the guy was back in the petstore to complain. The bird hadn't said a word.
The pet store manager said, "That's not unusual. Why not buy a few of the toys the bird had been used to playing with while here and put it in his cage. That should get him more comfortable with his surroundings and loosen him up." The man paid for the toys and took them home to the bird.
Two days later the guy showed back up. "Still not talking, huh?" asked the manager. "Well, perhaps a birdbath would do the trick." The credit card was whipped out, the purchase made, and the guy was back home with his new birdbath.
And, like clockwork, more...

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a parrot.
He found one that he liked and went up to the counter to buy it. The store clerk saw which parrot he had picked out and said, ''That parrot repeats everything he hears.''
''That's alright,'' the man replied.
So the man bought the parrot and left the store.
As he was walking down the street, he saw a cop chasing a robber.
The cop hollered to his partner, ''Shoot him down, shoot him down!''
Then the parrot said, ''Shoot him down, shoot him down!''
They kept walking and found a man who was trying to pry his car off the ground with a crowbar because his wheels had been stolen.
The man said, ''Pop it up, pop it up!''
The parrot said, ''Pop it up, pop it up!''
They kept on walking to a carnival. A guy at a gamestand yelled, ''Hit a big one, win a prize!''
The parrot said, ''Hit a big one, win a prize!''
Then they walked into a church and sat down.
The minister was in the middle of the more...

A burglar breaks into a house in the ritzier area of town. He's sure that
there's nobody home but he sneaks in, doesn't turn on any lights and heads
for where he thinks the valuables are kept.
He hears a voice say, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!"
He freezes in his tracks! He doesn't move a muscle!
A couple of minutes go by. The voice repeats "I can see you! Jesus can
see you, too!"
He slowly takes out his flashlight, switches it on and looks around the
room. He sees a bird cage with a parrot in it. "Did you say that?"
The parrot says again, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!"
"Hah! So what?! You're just a parrot!" says the burglar.
"I may be just a parrot", replies the parrot. "But Jesus is a
Doberman!"

There was a man who traveled all around the world. Every city he stopped in he would buy something for his mother and send it to her. On one such stop he found a parrot that spoke thirty different languages. He immediately bought it and sent it home to his mother. A few days later he calls his mother. "Did you like the parrot?" he asked her. "Oh yes," she replied. "It was delicious." "WHAT!" the man cried. "You ate it? That parrot wasn't for you to eat! It spoke thirty languages!"The mother paused for a moment and then said, "So why didn't he say something?"

This black man walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"Wow!" says the bartender. "That really is something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot!"