Parrots Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?"
She was talking to her Preacher one day about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together.
So, the females yelled at the male parrots, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?"
One male parrot said to the other, "Put the Bibles away! We've made it to heaven!"

A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?"She was talking to her Preacher one day about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together.So, the females yelled at the male parrots, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?"One male parrot said to the other, "Put the Bibles away! We've made it to heaven!"

Footless Parrot A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at all and he's lonesome so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help. The store he happened to walk into specialized in parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet. Surprised he mutters "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?" The parrot says "With my prick, you dummy." The guy is startled and says "You certainly talk well for a parrot." The parrot says "Of course, I'm a very well educated parrot. I can discuss politics, sports, religion, most any subject you wish." The guy says "Gee, you sound like just what I was looking for." The parrot says "There's not much of a market for maimed parrots. If you offer the proprietor $20 for me I'll bet he'll sell me." The guy buys the parrot and for three months things go great. When he comes home from work the parrot tells him Clinton said this, the A's won, the more...

An american, a russian, and a dane was discussing the differences between their countries. Pretty soon the general talking turned into general bragging about how terrific their respective countries where.
The Russian said, "Our navy is so big, that if we all sailed out at once, it would cover every ocean in the world."
The American, not wanting to let the Russian get the better of him, continued, "Well, our Air Force is so big that if all of our planes took off at once we could cover the sky all over the world."
The Dane thought for a while then said: "I once new a guy in Odense whose dick was so long that 17 parrots could sit on it at once."
They stood for a while not saying anything, until the Russian decided he might modify his bold statement a bit, "Well maybe the ships wouldn't cover ALL of the ocean."
The American, feeling the need for honesty as well said, "Well, maybe the planes wouldn't cover all of the sky more...

A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" She was talking to her Preacher one day about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together. So, the females yelled at the male parrots, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" One male parrot said to the other, "Put the Bibles away! We've made it to heaven!"

A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not
communicating at all and he's lonesome, so he goes to a pet store
thinking a pet might help.
The store he happened into specialized in parrots. As he wanders
down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet.
Surprised, he mutters, "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?"
The parrot says, "With my penis, you dummy."
The guy is startled and says, "You certainly talk well for a parrot."
The parrot says "Of course, I'm a very well educated parrot. I can
discuss politics, sports, religion, most any subject you wish."
The guy says "Gee, you sound like just what I was looking for."
The parrot says "There's not much of a market for maimed parrots.
If you offer the proprietor $20 for me, I'll bet he'll sell me."
The guy buys the parrot and for three months things go great. When he
comes home from work the more...

A woman went to her priest for help with a problem she had. "Father," she said, "I have two female parrots who only know how to say one thing. All they will say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"
"That's obscene!" exclaimed the priest. "Perhaps I can help. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we'll place them in the cage with mine. My parrots can teach yours to praise and worship and that will stop them from saying that phrase in no time."
The next day the woman brought her parrots to the priest's home. When she entered, she noticed his parrots in their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she placed her parrots in their cage. A few moments later, her parrots spoke out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looked at the other and exclaimed, "George, put down those damn beads. more...