Pass Jokes / Recent Jokes

For those of you that might not have heard the REAL story of Christmas, enjoy!
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, everyone into his own city.
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should deliver. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and more...

A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the football team. The coach asked him if he could tackle and he said, "Hell yah, get a load of this!" And with that knocked over a telephone pole as if it were made of balsa wood.The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied, "Hell yah!" and he sprinted from endzone to endzone like lightning.The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast. He finally composed himself and said, "But can you pass a football?"The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said, "Hell yah, if I can swallow it, I can surely pass it!"

You Know You're From Canada When...
1.) You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk."
2.) You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
3.) You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
4.) You drink pop, not soda.
5.) You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean.
6.) You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.
7.) You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
8.) You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
9.) You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
10.) You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
11.) You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
12.) You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion and many more are Canadians.
13.) You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
14.) You know more...

The Knicks have decided to pass on signing Allen Iverson. Odd, since Iverson hasn't passed in years.

St Peter is standing at heavens gate when a man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?""I was a policeman," he responded."What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked."I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.""Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates."A few moments later a second man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?""I was a policeman," he responded."What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked."I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers.""Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise."A few moments later a third man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?""I was a policeman," he responded."What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked."I was a Military Policeman, Sir.""Excellent my more...

If a flea and a fly pass each other what time is it? Fly past flea.

A woman and her little boy were walking through a park in New York and they pass two squirrels having sex. The little boy asks his mom, "Mommy, mommy, what are they doing?" The lady responded, "They're making a sandwich." Then they pass two dogs having sex and the little boy again asks what they were doing. His mother again replied they were making a sandwich. A couple of days later the little boy walks in on his mother and father and said "Mommy, Daddy, you must be making a sandwich because, Mommy has mayonnaise all over her mouth!!!"