Password Jokes / Recent Jokes

A computer system technician worked at a law firm. One day, in the process of reconfiguring a user’s computer, he had to log a user off and then back on. He entered her username and then asked her password to log back on.
Her password was “genius”.
Each time he tried it, he received a message that stated the username or password was incorrect. Knowing that the username was correct, he asked her how to spell her password.
She said, “G - E - N - I - O - U - S. ”

This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters.

Tech Support: "OK, let's try once more, but use lower case letters."

Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."

Stop neglecting children; at least learn their names & birthdays
Read all of the mail from all of the groups I've subscribed to
Limit my subscriptions of e-mail jokes to a maximum of fifty
See if there's anything on those 5 1/4" disks really worth saving
Back-up 5 gig hard drive weekly; well, maybe at least monthly
Not rush to any ftp site as soon as I hear of a new Beta
Insist that all "ten best" lists be strictly limited to ten
Not buy magazines with AOL disks just to get another 1.44MB disk
Answer Snail Mail with the same enthusiasm & promptness as e-mail
Spend less than two hours a day on the Web; on new sites anyway
Promise when I hear "Where do you want to go today ?" I won't laugh
Think of a password other than "password" to use on web sites
Try to keep "Hot" Bookmarks under 1,000 entries
Remember people who use low baud and mhz rates have feelings too
Stop using =-) in all more...

I was helping someone set up his computer, and he wanted to log in with a password. Now you have to understand he's got somewhat of a rebellious attitude and goes for the shock effect. So when the computer asked him to enter his password, he keys in " penis ".
I nearly fell off my chair from laughing so hard when the computer replied:
****PASSWORD REJECTED. TOO SHORT.****

I was helping someone set up his computer, and he wanted to log in with a password....now you have to understand he's got somewhat of a rebellious attitude and goes for the shock effect...so when the computer asked him to enter his password, he keys in 'penis'...I nearly fell off the chair from laughing so hard when the computer replied:
*** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ***

A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem."The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says."Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password.""Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."

Late-breaking news: Federal investigators have revealed that yesterday's
record drop in the stock market was apparently triggered by two
high-school students operating out of a basement somewhere in Western
Pennsylvania. The names of the suspects, both minors, have not been
released. Arrest warrants have allegedly been issued, but the student
hackers apparently have not yet been apprehended. A spokesman for the
FBI refused to comment on the rumor that the two had managed to leave
the country carrying millions of dollars in cash and gold.
Just after the close of stock trading on Monday, the Washington Post
received a call from two individuals who claimed to be the stock market
"hackers." The callers explained that they have been breaking into the
computer systems of major brokerage houses for several months,
"adjusting" the price of various stocks. This was done by telephone,
using a Macintosh personal computer more...