Patch Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here are a couple of my favorite examples of gullible people (true stories).
Back in the days of the Mattel Cabbage Patch Kid craze it was usually
very hard to get one for the kiddies. A radio station (I don't know where)
announced that Mattel was going to get Cabbage Patch Kids out to the people
of this particular city. The plan was that they had to go to the football
field of the local university and wait. An airplane would fly overhead and
the dolls would be dropped onto the field. People were supposed to hold
their credit cards up so that a photographer with a telephoto lens in the
airplane could get the credit card numbers and charge the price of the
dolls to the recipients' accounts.
People actually showed up, waving American Express cards in the breeze.
Another radio station prank took place on April Fool's Day. They
announced that the phone company would be cleaning the dirt out of the
phone lines that afternoon. They do more...

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate."You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"

The patch thing is going way to far....smoking patches, lose weight patches,
now this....
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of
bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a
poll-ice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin'
these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the
bottles under the seat".
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and
each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the
sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch".

Once there was a boy who went to work for a captain. The Captain had a wooden leg, a hook on his hand, and a patch on his eye. Just like any old pirate. So the kid asks "How did you get your wooden leg"? The Captain replied" I got thrown over board and a SHARK ATE IT"! Then he asks " how did you get your hook"? The Captain replied"A hungry PAROTE ATE IT"! Then he asks" How did you get your patch"? The Captain replied"A bird poopped on my eye"Then he asks " How would that take your eye out"? The Captain replied"It was the FIRST DAY WITH ME HOOK"!

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch, and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation, and he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returned to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten,
but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"