Watermelons Jokes

An old Jewish peddler ambled down a street in Tel Aviv carrying two
large watermelons. A tourist stopped him to ask, "Where is Ben Yehuda
Street?"
The peddler answered, "Please hold these two watermelons."
The tourist managed to gather them in his arms, whereupon the peddler
made an expansive gesture with his hands and exclaimed petulantly, "How
should I know?"

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads, "WARNING: ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!
The farmer returns a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

A farmer in the country discovered that some kids had been stealing fruit from his watermelon patch. So he put up a sign that read "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS RAT POISON!"
The farmer returned to the patch a week later and discovered that all of his watermelons were still there, but he found another sign that read "NOW TWO OF THEM DO!"

A middle-aged man had an obsession with women's breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem.

"I am going to do word association," explained the doctor. "I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing that come to your mind."

"Oranges," said the doctor.

"Breasts," replied the patient.

"Apples."

"Breasts."

"Watermelons."

"Breasts."

"Wipers."

"Breasts," said the patient with the same reply.

"Wait a minute! I can see the connections between oranges, apples, watermelons and breasts. But automobile's wipers? Where is the connection?" asked the doctor.

"Easy. .. one on the left and one on the right!"

A man was obsessed with women's breasts, so he went to a psychologist and told him his problem.
"Let's play a little word association game," the doctor said. "I'll say a word and you say the first thing that comes to your mind."
"Plums," said the doctor.
"Breasts," the patient said.
"Oranges."
"Breasts," the patient replied.
"Watermelons."
"Breasts," said the patient.
"Wipers."
"Breasts," the patient said.
"Wait a minute!" the doctor said. "I can understand the connection between plums, oranges, watermelons and breasts. But, automobile wipers? Where's the connection?"
"Easy, doc," the patient explained, "one on the left and one on the right!"