Path Jokes / Recent Jokes

3 guys die in a car accident, as they are going into heaven, a saint stops them and says to the first man,

"were you a faithful husband?"

he replies "yes, I never strayed from my wife, I barely even looked at other women"

the saint replies, "very good, you can drive this brand new sports car!" he then turns to the next guy and says,

"were you a faithful husband?"

the second man replies "well, to be honest, I DID cheat once, but I came clean and stayed on the right path and my wife forgave me and we lived happily afterwards."

the saint then says, "very good, you can drive this 1993 sports car" he then turns to the third and asks,

"were you a faithful husband?"

the third man says, "no, I slept around, never came clean, when I was caught, I wouldn't fess up and my wife hated me"

the saint replies "well, more...

A nun was walking along a lonely path when a man jumped out from
behind some bushes, grabbed her, and had his way with her. After he
was done, he said, "Well, sister, now that I have had my way with
you, what will you tell your God?"
"I will say"; replied the nun, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
I was walking along a lonely path, when a man jumped out from behind
some bushes, grabbed me and had his way with me, twice..."
"That is,"; said the nun, looking at him, "if you are not too tired..?"

Shut Up and Trouble were walking down a path. Trouble got lost. So, Shut Up went to the police officer. The police officer asked, "What's your name?"
He answered, "Shut Up."
He asked again "What's your name?"
"Shut Up."
The police officer asked, "Are you looking for trouble?!"
"Yeah, I lost him down a path about two miles ago."

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

Standing at the pearly gates of heaven, Albert noticed pointing to two paths.
One was marked "Women" and the other marked "Men". He took the path assigned to
men.
There were two more paths, one marked "Married Men", the other "Unmarried Men".
Because Albert had been married he took the corresponding path and then came
upon two more gates.
The right-hand gate had a sign that read "Men Who Were Dominated By Their
Spouses"; the other gate read "Men Who Were Not Dominated By Their Spouses". The
first gate had an endless line of chaps waiting, but only one little guy stood
before the second gate.
Albert found this very interesting, so he walked up to the little guy standing
all alone and asked, "Why are you standing at this gate, a little guy like you?"
The smallish fellow replied, "I have not any clue. My wife told me to stand
here."

Standing at the pearly gates of heaven, Albert noticed pointing to two paths. One was marked "Women" and the other marked "Men". He took the path assigned to men.
There were two more paths, one marked "Married Men", the other "Unmarried Men". Because Albert had been married he took the corresponding path and then came upon two more gates.
The right-hand gate had a sign that read "Men Who Were Dominated By Their Spouses"; the other gate read "Men Who Were Not Dominated By Their Spouses". The first gate had an endless line of chaps waiting, but only one little guy stood before the second gate.
Albert found this very interesting, so he walked up to the little guy standing all alone and asked, "Why are you standing at this gate, a little guy like you?"
The smallish fellow replied, "I have not any clue. My wife told me to stand here."

Bill and Ralph, both of equal ability, decide to have a round together and "play it as it lays" on all shots. Both hit their tee shots on the par-5 first hole down the middle and about 260 yards. They drive up for the second shot, and Bill hits his shot down the middle for an easy approach, but Ralph slices his over the trees and it ends up in the cart path of the adjoining hole.
"Guess I get a free drop from the cart path," he says. "Oh no," says Bill, "We agreed. Play it as it lays." So Ralph drives Bill up to his ball in front of the green, drops him off and drives over to his ball on the cart path. Bill watches in amusement as sparks shower down from the practice swings of his opponent, then, in amazement as a perfectly struck shot lands on the green and rolls to within 3 ft. of the pin. Ralph drives back to the green.
Bill says, "Great shot back there! What club did you use?" Ralph responds, "Your six iron."