Patty Jokes / Recent Jokes

There is a mental institution in Ireland that picks two of its most reformed patients each year and questions them. If the patients answer the questions correctly, they are free to leave. This year, the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told to wait while the doctor got their files. The doctor came and motioned for Patty to come in for her questioning.
When Patty came into the office, she was instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor. "Patty, you know the tradition of this institution so I am sure you know why you are here. You will be asked two questions and if you answer them correctly, you will be free to go. Do you understand all that you have been told?" said the doctor with a rather sly grin. Patty nodded, so the doctor began to question her.
The first question was this: "Patty, if I was to poke out one of your eyes, what would happen?" "I would be half more...

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Patty: Seven! Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Patty: Seven! Teacher: Let`s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got? Patty: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Patty: Seven! Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven? Patty: I`ve already got one rabbit at home now!

When my wife's sister, Patty, was very young, she was allowed to have her best friend, a boy named Rory, over to spend the night. As the children grew toward adolescence, their parents knew that someday the sleepovers would have to end.

One night, when Rory and his family were visiting, everyone gathered around the television to watch the Miss America pageant. When Patty asked if Rory could stay over, the parents hesitated, wondering if the time had finally come to discontinue the tradition. At that moment, the pageant host announced a contestant's measurements: 36-22-36.

"Rory," his mom asked, "what are those numbers?"

The boy thought for only a moment before responding, "Ninety-four?"

Rory got to spend the night.

A frog walks into a bank and says “I wanna loan. ”
“Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black’s desk, she is the loan manager, I’m sure she will be happy to talk to you, ” The head desk says.
The frog hops over to Mrs. Patty Black’s desk and says, “I wanna loan. ”
Mrs. Black says, “Well Mr. Frog, we will have to get some paperwork for you to sign, so if you will wait right here…” At this point the frog pulls out of his knapsack a golden disk and hands it over to her.
She asks, confused, “What is this? ”
The frog croaks back, “I wanna loan. ” She rubs her head, and walks back to her boss and says, “I don’t get it, a frog hops in here wanting a loan, and gives me this golden disk. Do you know what it is? ”
The boss laughs and says, “It’s a knick-knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan! ”

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30, 000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30, 000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She
holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is more...

& The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."
Little Johnny wasn`t getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don`t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don`t start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!"
"Isn`t the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl.
"Well, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.
"No." replied the boy.
"I`m the principal`s daughter." said the girl.
"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
"No," she replied.
"Thank goodness!" said the boy with a sign of relief.
A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I think I just more...

A frog walks into a bank and says "I wanna loan."

"Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black's desk, she is the loan manager, I'm sure she will be happy to talk to you," The head desk says.

The frog hops over to Mrs. Patty Black's desk and says, "I wanna loan."

Mrs. Black says, "Well Mr. Frog, we will have to get some paperwork for you to sign, so if you will wait right here..." At this point the frog pulls out of his knapsack a golden disk and hands it over to her.

She asks, confused, "What is this?"

The frog croaks back, "I wanna loan." She rubs her head, and walks back to her boss and says, "I don't get it, a frog hops in here wanting a loan, and gives me this golden disk. Do you know what it is?"

The boss laughs and says, "It's a knick-knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan!"