Patty Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids along a new bus route.At the first stop, he picked up a fat little girl. Grover asked, "What's your name?" "Patty" she replied. She had a seat in the back of the bus.On the next stop there was a handicapped boy named Ross. All the kids called him "Special Ross."Then a young man named Lester Cheese loaded onto the bus, sat down, took off his shoes and began picking at his bunyons.Finally the last stop came up, and another chubby little girl got on. Grover had never met her, so he asked her her name and her name was also Patty.On the way to school, Grover looked in his mirror and began to laugh, He was thinking..."Dang, I have two obese Patty's, Special Ross, Lester Cheese picking bunyons, on a Sesame Street bus!"

A frog enters a bank and walks up to an accountant. The accountant's name is Patricia Whack.
The frog says, "Patty Whack, I would like to get a loan."
"What's your name?" she asks.
"You don't know my name? Everyone else does. I'm Froggy Jagger, son of Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stones," the frog replies.
"Do you have any proof?" she inquires.
The frog reaches into his pocket and takes out some valuable and beautiful china. "What is that?" asks the accountant.
"Go and ask your manager," says the frog.
So, Patricia goes to her manager, shows him the china, and asks, "What is this?"
The manager says, "It's a knick knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man is a Rolling Stone."

This is the story of a different kind. No melting CPU's, no screaming
disc drives, just the kind of psychological torture that scars a man
for life.
I had a 9:00 meeting with my sales rep. I needed to buy an entire new
series 70, the works. He said it'd take about an hour. Three hours
later, we'd barely got the datacomm hardware down on paper, so he
invited me downstairs for lunch.
This was my first experience in an HP cafeteria. Above the service
counter was a menu which began...
MMU's (Main Menu Units)
0001A Burger. Includes sesame-seed bun.
Must order condiments 00110A separately
001Deletes seeds.
002 Expands burger to two patties.
00020A Double cheeseburger, preconfigured. Includes cheese,
bun and condiments.
001 Add-on bacon.
002 Delete second patty.
003 Replaces second patty with extra cheese.
00021A Burger Upgrade to Double Cheeseburger
001 From Single Burger.
002 From Double Burger.
003 more...

December 1st
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis - Human Resources Director
December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols more...

A man was out of work, and he was combing through the want ads. He saw that a school was looking for a bus driver, so he called and was asked to come for an interview. He got the job, and was surprised when he went out and found that the bus was garishly painted with Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, and Elmo. Still, a job's a job, he thought.
As he went about his route, he stopped and picked up twin girls. These girls were rather portly, and as they entered the bus the first one said, "My name's Patty." The man asked the second twin her name and she said, "My name's Patty also."
Further along, there was a boy who was trying to put on a James Dean-esque cool image. As he got on the bus, he said, "Yo! I'm Leonard T." He sat in the seat right behind the driver, so the driver could see him in his mirror.
They were almost back to the school, and made one last stop. The kid who got on announced, "I'm Ross... and I'm special."
As they made their more...