Pause Jokes / Recent Jokes

Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look as if I'm in right now. Maybe you should leave a message at the beep or call me back later. BEEP. (Pause three seconds.) Just kidding, that wasn't really the beep. Are you ready now?

REAL STORY: A Cork Radio Station in Ireland, 96 FM, was running a competition to find contestants who could come up with words that were not found in any English Dictionary, yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali for a week.
The DJ, Neil, had many callers; the following two, needless to say, stood out:
DJ: 96FM, what's your name?
Caller: Hi, me name's Dave.
DJ: Dave, what is your word?
Caller: Goan: spelled G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an.'
DJ: We are just checking that (pause) and you are correct, Dave, 'goan' is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now, for a trip for two to Bali, can you make a sentence using that word and at the same time making logical sense?
Caller: "Goan fuck yourself!"
At this point, the DJ cut the caller short and announced that there was no place for that sort of language on a family show.
After many more unsuccessful calls, the DJ took the more...

A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'll have a rum... and coke."
The bartender asks, "What's with the big pause?"
The bear responds, "I dunno... I've just always had them."

Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."
Pause.
Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
Customer: "Oh."
Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
Customer: "Why?"
Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the more...

These are stories from help desks around the country.

At 3: 37 a. m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clock to determine my annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from her neighbor's. She had just received her first system error and interpreted the picture of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to blow up.

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write' click' and I more...