Pear Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were 3 presidents Busch sr., busch jr.,& lincoln. 1st busch jr. was in a plane and eating an apple and dropped the core and it landed on a little boys head when he landed he said " little boy why are you crying." He said an apple core fell out the sky and hit me in th head.then busch sr. and he had half a pear and threw it he saw a little girl crying and said why are you crying? a pear fell out the sky and hit me in the head.then lincoln had an atomic bomb and dropped it and when he landed he saw (2) little girls laughing and said why yall laughing they said our grandad totted and the house blew up!

(1) There's one "sport" in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. What is it?
(2) What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
(3) Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
(4) Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?
(5) What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
(6) In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
(7) Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw." They are all common. Name two of them.
(8) There are fourteen more...

Day 1 Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it
las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow
in the swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.

Day 2 Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but
all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with
andouille an made some gumbo out of dem.

Day 3 Dear Boudreaux, Why doan you sent some crawfish? I'm tired of
eating dem darn birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens
to Marie Trahan over at Grans Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog,
Phideaux. Marie needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster.

Day 4 Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more dem darn birds. Deez
four, what you call dem "calling birds" were so noisy you could hear dem
all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps, an
fed de rest of dem to de gators.

Day 5 Dear Boudreaux, You finally more...

This was sent to me by a friend.
***The 12 Days, Deconstructed***
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
potential-acquaintance-rape-survivor gave to me,
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming.
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in
good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union
contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...)
TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling
class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from
enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic more...

The Devil wanted a place on earth.
Sort of a summer home:
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Arizona.
A place both wretched and rough.
Here the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys were hardened and tough.

He dried up the streams in the canyons
and ordered no rain to fall:
He dried up the lakes in the valleys,
Then baked and scorched it all.

Then over his barren desert
He transplanted shrubs from Hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear --
The climate suited them well.

Now, the home was much to his liking.
But animal life, he had none:
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.

First he made the rattlesnake.
With its forked poisonous tongue:
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow its young.

Then he made Scorpions and Lizards
And the ugly old Horned more...